Bone Biopsy

Waiting with my Sweetheart 💜

So I was a little nervous for today's bone biopsy, not going to lie. I realized that in all my other biopsies a needle was used to extract what they needed, but how would you do that with bone? Well, my fear was confirmed... with a drill of course!

My morning started by arriving to the hospital at 8:30am. I got registered and not long after that was escorted back to my prep room. When I asked the registrar how long this procedure was going to take, she said they had blocked 150 minutes of time. 150 minutes! That's over two hours but I knew that included the prep time but still, wow! After entering the room the nurse proceeded to explain what would be happening. As we were talking, another nurse inserted my IV and to my thankfulness, she listened to me and got it on the first try, hallelujah! My health history questions didn't take very long as I was just at the hospital two days prior and the information was still in the computer. So we had a long time to chat with our nurse while waiting for the procedure before us to finish. Shout out to my Kadlec nurse today. She was awesome and stayed with me the whole time. She learned quite a bit about my health history during our visit and I made it pretty clear I didn't want to feel anything today. I knew they weren't going to knock me out but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to remember any of it. I don't normally have a good response to getting numbed up for medical things so I just wanted to make sure she understood that today I didn't want to have to prove how tough I am.

Before getting escorted to the CT room, the doctor came in to visit with me and explain what he'd be doing. He was a little hard to understand but I did understand the word drill when he used it. Oh dang! I'm not getting knocked out and they're using a drill. Sounds like another "happy place" moment for me. Yikes! He had me sign the consent form and my nurse came back in to escort me to the CT room. I had to lay on my stomach for this procedure because they took the biopsy from my back right pelvic region. I won't go into details about everything else, but my nurse was fantastic! She took good care of me. I only remember a little glimpse so she did a great job! By the time we left the hospital it was a little after noon. I couldn't believe we were there that long but most of it was just waiting. They said it usually takes about 3 days to get the results back, so I'll check Friday afternoon to see if they're in. Now we wait to see which cancer came back. Two doctors have already told me they think it's the Triple Negative Breast Cancer that's back, but they have been surprised before so we'll see. I'll probably have to get a mediport put back in, which I'm not a fan of, but I guess it makes administering Chemo a lot easier and other meds if needed.

If you know me, you know that I Love Christmas! I love everything about Christmas: the music, sounds, smells, foods, Santa Claus, serving others and especially the reason for the season, Christ's birth. I have no idea what it would be like to not believe in Jesus Christ. I've believed in Him my whole life. I've never seen Him or met Him, in this life, but I know He exists. Statement reminds me of the movie, "The Santa Clause." The whole plot of the movie revolves around the idea that Santa is real. Do you remember this part near the end of the movie?

Neil (stepfather): What about Santa's reindeer? Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?

Charlie (child): Yes.

Neil: Well, I haven't.

Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars?

Neil: No.

Charlie: Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

Charlie stayed true to what he knew by his own experience to be right. Charlie believed, he did not doubt. I believe in God and in his son Jesus Christ because of the things I know in my heart and mind, not because of things I do not know. We have spiritual experiences that are sometimes to sacred to explain to those around us, but it doesn't mean that they're not real. 

"There is no magic to belief. But wanting to believe is the necessary first step! God... is our Father. He wants to speak to you. However... it requires an experiment upon the word of God-and to exercise a 'particle of faith.' It takes a little humility and requires an open heart and open mind. It requires seeking, in the full meaning of the word. If we make no effort to believe, we are like the man who unplugs a spotlight and then blames the spotlight for not giving any light."

Belief and faith require our personal choice and action. 

Mathew 7:7-8

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. I remember reading a story that hit a little close to home. Different circumstances but same idea. On June 12, 2015, a husband, wife and two of their children were killed in an airplane accident. Their 5 year old son was thrown from the plane but survived with broken bones. One son was serving a mission in the Marshall Islands and their 17 year old son was on a school cultural exchange in Germany. 

Obviously the children were heartbroken with the unexpected news of their family members deaths. The older two boys decided that others could help at home while the oldest boy finished his mission, because that is what their parents would want. Their sadness was followed by an "unquenchable fire of faith... I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will see my family again. … Strength in our trials is always found in … our Lord, Jesus Christ.”

At his families funeral, the 17 year old spoke to the congregation and ended by saying, “The day after I heard the news of the accident, I found a letter in my bag from my mom. In the letter she wrote: ‘Zane, remember who you are and where you come from. We will be praying for you and missing you.’ Zane continued: “There could not be more fitting last words from my mother. "

Faith is not by chance but by choice. I Choose to Believe. I know who I am. I know God's plan. I'll follow him in faith.