3-4 months ago, I was getting ready to go to work and while getting dressed, my hand brushed against my right side and I felt pain just below my ribs. A good amount of pain and thought that was weird because I hadn't done anything to hurt that area. It only hurt when I touched it so I didn't think anything of it, until a week later I noticed it was still there. Over the next month there was a couple other unusual things so I thought I should make an appointment with our family doctor. She had a long wait, so I just saw the PA that I also like in the office. After evaluating me, she noticed that my spine is rotated and thought that I just needed physical therapy so she wrote the referral.
A month went by and the physical therapy referral still hadn't made it to the therapy office. When I called to figure out what was going on with the referral I just had a feeling that this was not the right course to be taking. I still had pain and noticed it was most painful at night when I slept. I couldn't roll in bed without pain and I couldn't lay on my right side or stomach. My back would hurt when I sat and I noticed a similar pain on my left pelvic bone when sitting. It hurt my back to cough or sneeze as well and I couldn't run because that was very painful. Part of me was really worried but another part thought this would go away. The pain would come and go. So because it wasn't constant all the time, I just thought I was getting sore or overworking myself; but I wasn't doing anything more then normal. By this time I had gone to the chiropractor several times and had a couple massages but those just seemed like short term fixes. Like one day fixes. So I decided I needed another doctors visit and this time request a scan.
I had seen this doctor a couple other times with visits for my kids and had mentioned how I still had pain. I kind of felt like she thought I was just one of the those moms that complained or worried about everything. I told her about going to the chiropractor several times and massages but they weren't helping. She said she'd order an x-ray of that side. I told her the x-ray wouldn't show anything because nothing had happened there but I think for insurance reasons, thats where they must start. So I immediately went to imaging when I left and sure enough, it came back with no problems. I told the doctor on the phone I needed something else. She said, "Well, I can order a CAT scan. Do you want me to order a CAT scan? They can be expensive." I had already talked to my husband about this, and he said, "Order it." He had heard me at night, I guess, yell out in pain when I'd roll over in bed. It seemed like she didn't think I needed it and was trying to talk me out of it but I said, "Yes, set it up."
After getting off the phone with her, I called my past cancer doctor and explained to the nurse on the phone what I was going through. I just felt like I wasn't getting believed. After she talked to the doctor, she called me back and said, "The doctor would like to meet with you on Friday. Can you come in?" "Yes," I replied. After meeting with him, he just did his normal exam that he does when I see him every six months. He said, "Well you have a CAT scan scheduled next week, let's see what that shows and go from there." I asked what would happen if the CAT scan didn't show anything and he said we'd probably do a bone scan.
So a week ago I had a CAT scan on June, 27th. An hour-and-a-half later I get a phone call from my cancer doctor. From past experience I know that if the doctor calls you, right after a scan, that's usually not good news. He informed me that the news wasn't good and that I had 8 lesions on my lower spine (vertebrae). I thought, "That can't be good." Nothing on your spine can be good and I had 8 of them. He said he was going to order a PET scan ASAP. In my past experience, those have only been ordered to see if there was cancer. Oh man! Not again so soon. Which gets us caught up to yesterday, July 5th, PET scan day.
A PET scan takes a couple hours just because you have to rest for an hour before the scan. A couple hours after the scan I saw my results pop up on my Kchart. I then get a phone call from the doctors office asking if Shad and I could come in this morning to see the doctor at 9:30. Again, not good. Of course, I got on my chart and looked at it. I realized the severity that could present itself the next day. For the first time in all the cancer announcements I've received, I was really worried and emotional. I had a hard time sleeping last night.
When meeting with the doctor, this morning, I realized my worst fear had come true. Not only was the cancer back, but it's on my bones and it's a lot of places:
TARGET LESIONS: (Here it is, for all my medical friends.)
Multiple mildly enlarged mediastinal and left hilar lymph nodes with hypermetabolic activity.
* The index precarinal lymph node measuring approximately 1.2 x 1 cm.
* The index left hilar lymph node measuring approximately 1.4 x 0.8 cm.
Innumerable lytic and sclerotic hypermetabolic lesions throughout the axial skeleton, including cervical, thoracic and lumbar spine, sacrum, pelvis, proximal femur bilaterally, multiple bilateral ribs, right scapula and right humerus.
* The index precarinal lymph node measuring approximately 1.2 x 1 cm.
* The index left hilar lymph node measuring approximately 1.4 x 0.8 cm.
Innumerable lytic and sclerotic hypermetabolic lesions throughout the axial skeleton, including cervical, thoracic and lumbar spine, sacrum, pelvis, proximal femur bilaterally, multiple bilateral ribs, right scapula and right humerus.
* The index lytic lesion with sclerotic margins in T11 vertebral body measuring approximately 1.5 x 1.4 cm.
* The index lytic lesion with sclerotic margins in T12 vertebral body measuring approximately 1.6 x 1.2 cm.
* The index sclerotic lesion in L5 vertebral body measuring 1.4 x 1.2 cm.
* The index mildly sclerotic lesion in left ischial tuberosity measuring 1.8 x 1.7 cm.
* The index mildly sclerotic mildly hypermetabolic lesion in left trochanter of right femur measuring approximately 1.4 x 1.5 cm.
* The index sclerotic lesion in L5 vertebral body measuring 1.4 x 1.2 cm.
* The index mildly sclerotic lesion in left ischial tuberosity measuring 1.8 x 1.7 cm.
* The index mildly sclerotic mildly hypermetabolic lesion in left trochanter of right femur measuring approximately 1.4 x 1.5 cm.
Diagnosis: Metastatic breast cancer. This will have to be identified through a biopsy on one of my bone lesions. Basically, this is breast cancer cells that have traveled to other areas of my body, my bones, and attached there and decided to grow.
An MRI will need to be done on my brain to see if it has traveled to my brain. I've had lots of headaches, so worried about this.
I was told that this is incurable. That chemotherapy is used to slow down the rate of growth but it will not kill it. So I'll need chemotherapy the rest of my life. Pain meds will be administered to help keep me comfortable. (Humbling moment when you see this is administered through Hospice. Oh boy, another scary word.) Life span is hard to say but he does have one patient that has survived 6 years.
So today was filled with notifying family. It's exhausting reliving the story over and over again. My husband was a champ and informed everyone for me. I mean seriously, how many times can you tell your family, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this but I have cancer." Cancer rocks everyone's world in a family. Still haven't been able to get a hold of my son in Africa, but that will be a hard one tomorrow. I'm too the point of not crying or showing emotion because my head hurts so much. This time is different. This time... is about time.
 |
| Waiting to see the doctor with my favorite person. |
No comments:
Post a Comment